Julia Sartorio, me, Dom & John Hudson
We have been getting the most incredible feedback from people though. I can’t keep on top of all the messages. It has been so humbling to get so much positive support. But we have had our fair share of negative too. Some people accused us of doing this as a publicity stunt or to get more attention for ourselves. I have worked in radio for 21 years, and we have pulled so many stunts to get attention and publicity, but I can tell you now, with 100% truth, this was NOT a stunt or a cry for attention. This was completely separate to the radio persona we put on every day and it was a very difficult decision to make to go ahead and open ourselves up to this. Watching it back on TV, we did feel slightly embarrassed, but we believe we did the right thing. So many people have thanked us for giving them the insight into a topic that is largely hushed over.
http://tvnz.co.nz/sunday-news/jay-and-dom-s-ivf-battle-3568371/video?vid=3572824
As for what happens now? Who knows. My next goal is to go on holiday. I am emotionally exhausted and really need to take some time off. Tossing up between quiet time in Whitianga or maybe going overseas to Rarotonga or something like that.
Thank you for doing the Sunday show last night. Incredible and great to have a real non tabloid (eg 50year old pregnant with IVF ) type story about this. Thanks again, so appreciate your honesty and bravery.
Well done in the tv programme last night. you are both so brave. we have done 2 ivf cycles and both were unsuccessful too. I am like jay jajy and dont produce many follicles and they dont stick. it is hard.
Hi Jay Jay
I’m sure you have heard heaps of these story believe me I have also heard them all. I’ve done IVF for three years with more heart brake than any one can know…. With 3 cycles that did not work the feeling that it was all my fault was the biggest thing for me. there is on thing that got me with your story as you put it just like me all i need is a sticky uterus. the thing that worked for us they put me on steroid for about three months before our last and finale treatment and that non sticky uterus is now a sticky one . As of tomorrow i’m 18 weeks pregnant and thought it could be something for you to look into.
Hoping you guys try again
Teresa
Congratulations Teresa! It’s great to hear success stories. It gives us hope.
I watched your story last night and couldnt stop the tears rolling down my face. We are at the beginning of our fertility treatment journey after having 2 miscarriages and I recognised so many of the emotions you guys went/are going through. I wish you both all the best for the future.
Hi JJ & Dom,
Thank you so much for doing the Sunday feature. I am 28 years old, and in October of last year my husband and I went through ICSI. Out the 5 eggs collected 4 fertilised, 1 was replaced and the other frozen. Neither the first or second replacements succeeded in pregnancy.
The hardest part of fertility is others who don’t understand. When I told my stepmother that 5 eggs were collected, and before I went on to say that only 2 made it, her reply was “how many children do you want”, those words still taunt me.
You guys have been my inspiration in this process because you understand the pain I have felt unlike other couples I have known that have succeeded. So many people have superficial ideas about fertility treatment thanks to Hollywood and little or no education.
To the people that have accused you of wanting attention, then please feel free to contact me, I’ll be delighted to introduce them to our Wellington coffee group, I’m sure the group will be enlightened to learn that we are simply suffering ADD.
You have shown that infertility doesn’t just happen to Hollywood stars but everyday people.
Having taped the feature, I hope to use it as a learning tool to help my close friends and family understand the processes that we are going through. Because it’s all the stuff in between the needles that people don’t see or imagine.
Thank you once again for your courage, honesty and humour. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.
Kylie & Hayden
Thanks Kylie. I am really glad we have helped family memebers and friends understand how hard it is for someone to go through fertility treatment. Even my best friend told me today; “I had no idea! You always have such a brave face!”. It’s good that others can see our story and relate it to their own friends or family going through it.
Jay-Jay xox
I can’t believe some people would be so mean spirited!! You guys did an amazing thing by sharing your story. I bet it was difficult to be so vulnerable and open about such a personal issue. I know you would have touched many people. Your story has definately touched me. I hope that you get some down time now and recharge your batteries. Maybe when you have done that you will both see the way forward in this journey.
Take care
Dear JJ and Dom,
By chance I heard about your story via facebook. My heart goes out to both of you.
I am in the middle of reading a fascinating book about “Huna” and feel compelled to recommend this to you.
Seeing as how you are planning to get away for a bit, I’d like to recommend you google “Huna” and maybe even get away to Hawaii.
Thank you for sharing. All the very best to you.
Hi JJ
A truly heartbreaking story provided by two brave courageous people. Not for a minute did I question your intention or motivation for sharing this with the world, I simply admired your courage.
Take care of each other.
Hi JJ and Dom, thank you for doing the programme for Sunday, you guys are amazing how open you are about your infertility and IVF. I had been following the blog and unfortunately knew that it was unsuccessful, all the emotion of our own journey came out, I cried and cried. We are just about do our 2nd round of IVF soon, its such a hard thing to go through, I feel like my wife has cried thousands of times throughout our struggle. Hopefully you guys have shown New Zealanders that infertility can happen to anyone and that it very difficult thing to go through. I have my fingers crossed that one day you will have a baby of your own!
I was in tears all the way through your doco feeling all those emotions come back to me from our 6 failed IVF cycles. My husband and I just kept saying how we knew how you were both feeling. You guys are amazingly couragous to show your most intimate moments to the nation. Like you, we try to use humour to get through it all but people dont see the tears and frustration that goes on behind the scenes. My husband is in awe of Dom going through what he has to go through, and did say to me he wasnt sure he would have endured 6 cycles if he had to do that each time.
Please try and ignore those who critcise you for going public with this. They are stupid people who just like to point fingers at tall poppies. Your courage has meant you have helped thousands of people get an understanding of what we are going through.
I have also read a lot of people give you advice on ‘what worked for them’. I suggest you ignore them too. As you say on the doco everyone is so different and unfortunately it seems those who have been successful seem to think that because it worked for them it will work for you too. You have to go with your gut feeling on whether you try again and what you might do differently. It has nothing to do with anyone else other than you and Dom.
I wish you all the best for whatever you do next. You guys are amazing. (Oh and I thought your little boy was so cool ‘Ill close my ears so you can swear’…very funny at such a difficult time, I was crying and laughing at the same time).
Hi JJ & Dom,
I just wanted to leave you both another message. I watched the Sunday programme the other night and there was so many aspects of it that struck a cord with me from undergoing the IVF process myself. I found myself going… ah I remember that feeling, I saw your bruises and remembered my bruises from the jabs, and I remembered the bad news, the phone calls that you dread and just want the nurse to just give it to you straight, what had survived the night and then the impending doom that comes with the realisation that it hadn’t worked. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone – there are others out there who have had similar experiences as you. Hopefully, that by sharing what you have gone through it will also give those couples the courage to speak out and help others who are going through a similar experiences.
I know that I would have loved to have heard about IVF, the highs the lows and all the nitty gritty before we went through our cycles… so I’m sure your story would have been really helpful to others who were considering the whole IVF process.
Take care and go and have a nice holiday somewhere… Raro I can definitely recommend!!
Michelle
Hi JJ,
Thank you so much for doing that program!! I couldn’t stop crying during the program because I have also failed IVF and ICSI.
I had 20 eggs collected but none of them fertilized for my first cycle. My second cycle took 23days till egg collection and quality of eggs were bad…. I’m starting my third cycle next week but I’m already so stressed and scared. I can’t always understand what my doctor’s talking about because English is not my first language….. that also scare me! But your positive attitude and smile gave me courage!!
So thank you once again!!!!
I hope you’ll have a great great holiday.
Oh God, I am so sorry. Can you get a translator to help with what your doctor tells you? That must make things so much harder. I don’t know what to say other than Good Luck.
Jay-Jay xox
Hi JayJay
I’m in the camp of the other respondents – thanks for being so open and brutally honest. For a long time, I’ve been keen to see more ‘real’ fertility stories in the public arena but never been brave enough to go there myself. As you know, it’s the most horrific roller coaster – trying to maintain some sort of normality (whatever that used to be) while the rest of the world whizzes by. It’s almost impossible when you’re not in the public eye – how you’ve done it amazes me.
The emotions, drug induced hissy fits, financial outlay and ongoing sense of loss is only something those who have been there can appreciate. I’m hoping my family and friends tuned in to help them ‘get it’.
We’re about to start Round 5 – our last (that’s what we said last time and the time before). Kind of over it. I’m sure everyone has been forthcoming with info and you too are over it. But, when/if you’re ready to give it another whirl, look into the Antagonist protocol (and check out Simon Kelly at FA in Auckland). Good luck and thanks again – you’ve opened a book that has been sitting on the shelves for too long! Arohanui
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, my heart weeps for you. I can’t imagine how difficult this road is for you, and your courage to share this is inspirational.
I am only in my second month of trying and the thought of being in your position breaks my heart. I pray for wisdom for your next decision! Now when I hear you on the radio I will pray for your miracle!
Hi Jay-Jay and Dom,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and showing what infertility/IVF is really like. We are also battling infertility. I can’t believe people who say you are after attention, please know that they are only a very insignificantly small part of the population, and the rest are highly supportive and hoping for the best for you guys. I think that you have done an amazing yet heartbreaking thing sharing your story which was so courageous, I cried and cried. Will be thinking of you guys and sending lots of good vibes your way whatever the future holds. Arohanui.
Hi Jay Jay
My husband and I watched the documentary and were so sad for you both with what you have been through. I can’t believe that people would give negative responses to it, that just shows their ignorance. Taking a holiday sounds like a great idea and we can highly recommend Rarotonga. We have been there 3 times and got married there. It is so relaxing, you would both love it.
We wish you both all the best for the future and the decisions that you make.
Hi Jay-Jay and Dom,
Heart felt thanks to you both for sharing your story on Sunday. We too are battling infertility and are just about to begin IVF. We have so appreciated being able to see the ‘reality’ of it all.
We wish you every happiness for the future – and have a wonderful break away together.
Hope the sun is shining wherever you are…. get lots of rest and may the next round win!!!! Im about to have a frozen transfer after my first round did not stick…. I know what you guys went through… you are amazing. Keep hopeful and in the meantime have fun.!!!
hi guys
try Shelley at http://www.incomingsouls.co.nz she has been a great insight to life beyond our control.
Cheers
Lisa-Jane
dear jayjay,
i only watched your doco this morning- not sure how i missed it. a friend had told me about it so i looked it up.
i was trying very hard not to cry into my porridge.
thank you for sharing your journey. thank you also to dom for representing the husbands out there who find it hard too.
sometimes i feel so lonely that no one understands it unless you’ve gone through it yourself. putting yourself out there, you guys have helped people around me understand the journey at least a little better. thank you.
i can’t imagine how hard it has been to process the negative results, let alone having everyone know… though i appreciate your openness so much.
i’m so sad and so sorry you have been going through this mad and horribly rocky road.
for the last 3 years, we’ve been on a fertility ‘adventure’ too. i haven’t done ivf yet but pretty much have tried everything else. i’m doing injections at the mo for ovulation induction and so seeing you do them too was kinda comforting but of course also really hard. (and waiting for all the phone calls and blood test results! grrr)
anyway. just wanted to say hi and again, thanks for sharing.