FOURTH TIME LUCKY?

WHO ARE WE?

JJ & Dom, married June 20th 2004

I’m Jay-Jay Feeney. My husband Dom Harvey and I have been trying to make beautiful babies since we got married in 2004.  We weren’t trying very hard in the first year because we were enjoying the honeymoon, but Dom collapsed during a marathon in 2005 and doctors found a 9cm (non-cancerous) tumour in his Aorta. The operation to remove the tumour left Dom with Retrogade Ejaculate which means his sperm don’t swim out the way they are supposed to, they go sightseeing and disappear back into his bladder! Not very handy for making babies!
Dom and I host the morning show on The Edge radio station and are proud ambassadors for Fertility NZ.


IVF HISTORY

We are about to start our fourth round of IVF.
During our first round, we had 3 eggs collected and one fertilised. The embryo was implanted but sadly, I never got a positive pregnancy test.
In our second round we had 8 eggs but no viable embryos.
Our third round gave us 8 eggs and one embryo which was transplanted. After the dreaded Two Week Wait we were ecstatic to hear we were finally pregnant! Unfortunately the joy did not last long and I miscarried a couple of days later.

I thought we wouldn’t go through this again, but it has been almost two years since our last attempt and I’m not getting any younger! So we are going for round four later this month.

Another reason for the two year break is because just before our 3rd round, my then four year old nephew came to live with us. His name is Seven and he has just turned 7 years old! He is a part of the family now. His mum and dad are unable to care for him so we have become aunty-mum and uncle-dad! (He just calls us Jay-Jay & Dom)

I will use this blog to report how I’m feeling and how this cycle works out for us. Dom has promised to write from a man’s perspective too!

We love to get your feedback and questions, so please feel free to post them.

Jay-Jay xox

104 Comments

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104 responses to “FOURTH TIME LUCKY?

  1. Allordrien

    Jayjay! So brave of you to share your experiences and your story with the world, I’m sure a lot of couples undertaking IVF especially in NZ will really take strength from hearing about what you’re going through.

    Wishing you both all the best, you’re awesome parents to Seven and looking forward to hearing about you having your own :)
    xx

  2. Wishing you all the very, very best :)

  3. Jo

    I wish the both of you every bit of luck this time round and i very much admire how you are sharing your journey wit the world. I would love to have children myself and am turning 38 this april. this journey could be one i may one day endure myself so thanks guys xxx

  4. Caitlin

    Hi Jay-Jay!
    It may be hard work and a tough wait but it’ll happen one day :) I’m an IVF baby – the first in the South Island, heh! – and my Mum and Dad were real troopers (mum had 2 ectopic pregnancies so was unable to conceive normally). I was the product of IVF round #8; my dad sold his two beautiful TransAms and said “this is the last time”…and that was around 21 years ago now, and I will say that I am most probably the best daughter on Earth. So best of luck and stick at it, it’ll happen one day! :)

  5. wolfpackgirl10

    Jay Jay and Dom…

    What you are sharing with the world is something very personal and I thankyou.

    Sometimes it seems totally unfair that there are people in this world who are given the gift of baring children and yet they do a miserable job…but you both have never given up. Your both inspirational!

    I wish you guys the best.

    much love!
    xo
    Wolfpackgirl10 (Lisa Eden)

  6. Hey Jay-Jay, i listen to your morning show every morning, and you guys are awesome! You and Dom would make great parents, good luck for your fourth round of IVF :)

    x

  7. Liz

    Ohhh 4th time lucky!! Good luck!! :)

  8. shelley

    hi jay and dom i often wonder when i listen to the edge if you guys are going through the dreaded cycle, i saw your documentary on the tv and thought you were trying sometime this year, i wanted to txt you and ask but didnt want to remind you of it when you are at work!
    I have had 2 ivf cycles, a lapscopery and a hyscopery, we had 8 eggs first time, got 1 embryo and found we couldnt do a transfer as i have a tricky cervic, apparantly it is like picking a lock.they froze that one. the second time i went under full anathestic for the transfer but out of 8 eggs only one was viable and it did not work.
    next week i am having a trail transfer with a new drug to open my cervic then if they manage to get in there we will defrost the one embryo we have, otherwise we will do another cycle.
    i think its great you have had some time out, i feel alot better after having 8 months and no ivf talk!
    good on you jay jay and dom for making us ivf people not feel like its such a dirty secret! xx

  9. Aleisha

    Hi Jayjay,

    I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK!!! And that I am sending lots of sticky baby dust your way.

    I don’t know if you have seen it but the forums on http://www.ohbaby.co.nz are awesome – even special groups for ladies going through IVF – and they are all in nz. I joined the forum late last year when we started trying for a baby, and was fortunate enough to conceive in November.

    The ladies on there are really helpful and supportive – Im on every day getting updates!

    Anyway – GOOD LUCK again, you sooooo deserve this :-)

  10. Crista

    All the best guys. I really hope 4th times a charm for you. You both seem like such awesome, genuine people, and I think you deserve to have a child of your own. (Aww, dumb, now I have little tears!) I have 2 kids and can’t imagine life without them, even though at ages 3 and 2, they drive me nuts. Everyone deserves to feel that same feeling, the love AND the craziness. I really hope it happens for you. Good luck! x

    • Hi Crista, thanks babe! I’m looking forward to having kids that drive me nuts too! Actually, I have had a bit of practice with my nephew Seven. He has his moments.. but the bad far outweighs the good. And if we don’t have kids, who will look after us in our old age? Which isn’t far away! haha)

  11. Bee

    Hi Jay Jay and Dom, I just wanted to wish you (huge, enormous) luck for this 4th cycle. You two would make the absolute best parents and you so deserve your own little baby. I will be hoping like crazy that this time is your time.
    Thank you for sharing your journey. You are both such an inspiration and it takes guts to tell the public what you’re going through. My husband and I have been TTC for a year and a half now, we have tried all the fertility treatments we can with no success, so will start IVF at the end of this year.
    I’ll be watching your progress with bated breath. Good luck and lots of love :)

  12. Libby

    Fingers crossed big time for you and Dom, I think you will make awesome parents to your own wee poppet. I think it is awesome you are sharing your journey on this blog.
    Bless,
    Libby

  13. Leanne

    Hi Jay-Jay and Dom

    Being a listener of yours for many years, hearing about your life, and attempts to have children, I sincerely wish you all the best with this round of IVF.
    I am so very thankful to have been blessed with three beautiful children, who I love unconditionally. Upon saying that, I’ve also had 3 miscarriages.
    I know you both will make wonderful parents… just ask Seven and I’ll bet you get a huge “High 5″.
    Remember, good things come to those who wait.

    All the very very best
    xox

    • Thanks for sharing Leanne. I am so happy to hear you have three children. That’s really amazing!! I’m sorry to hear about the miscarriages though. I hope you had lots of support at that time.

  14. Flo

    Good luck to both of you. You are both such wonderful caring people, especially taking in Seven the way you have.

  15. Bonnie

    Hi JJ & Dom, you guys are awesome! I love your show in the morning and think Seven is such a lucky boy to have you both in his lfe, I wish you both the very best of luck with your 4th journey into IVF, sharing your story will help more people than you can imagine, you are a strength beyond all others and deserve the very best, good luck and god bless you both xoxox

  16. Joey

    Hey JJ,
    I admire your s and Doms strength, My husband and i went through fertility associates for our I.V.F.
    It can be difficult, i found talking to like mined people helped us,
    i started an I.V.F support group in Whangarei, not only did it help us but others too,
    The best of luck for you and your family
    Jo xx

  17. Jud

    Hi jj and dom this email has lots of good luck with it :-)

  18. Hey Dom and JJ
    Best of luck with your journey through IVF I hope and pray its successful for you guys!
    Will be following your blog….

  19. Alysha

    I wish u both the best of luck!!!!! P

  20. Julie

    Hey good luck to you both – you sooo deserve this to work – and Seven would love a little brother or sister!!! We have everything crossed for you… xxxx

  21. Joanna

    Hey JJ & Dom
    Good on you for giving it another go!! I’ve got my fingers & toes crossed for a beautiful baby to arrive for you guys in 2011 – who knows – with IVF you may get more than one!!

    You are one courageous couple, and I think it’s almost a blessing (if that’s the right word) that you’re in the public eye to show that fertility troubles/IVF can happen to anyone.

    Wishing you two all the very best…. you deserve it.
    Jo
    xx

    • Haha! More than one?! Eeeeekkk!!!! I often joke about that – but gawd! Imagine! It’s a daunting thought, but at this point I’ll take anything I can get. Make me the Octomum if you have to!

  22. Rachel

    Thank you for being honest and sharing your story. I wish you all the best. My husband and I are considering IVF, so its nice to read someones own story. Thank you soo much.

  23. Paulab

    Hi JJ & Dom,

    I just want to say how wonderful I think it is you are sharing your journey. My husband and I were told that we were going to have to go through IVF with ICSI as none of the other options would work for us. I remembered that you had spoken about your journey and it really made me feel better about what we had infront of us. I am part of a forum on the OhBaby website for couples going through IVF, and have found it so supporting and motivating, if you ever feel like popping by we’d love to “see” you.

    All the best to yourself and Dom, fingers crossed for you this time x

    • Hi Paula. I am really, really happy to hear we have been some sort of inspiration for you. When I first found out about IVF I was devastated. I had NO idea what to expect and never knew anyone who did it and I really felt like I needed to talk to people who had been through it. Once I opened up, other people like yourself came forward and helped me get through it. The Forums are a fantastic place to go, to hang out with like-minded people. And it’s interesting to know not everyone’s story or outcome is the same. I may pop my OhBaby at some stage. We did a story for them in 2008 and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. The magazine is excellent.
      BEST OF LUCK with your journey. I’d love to hear how things work out. I read and save every email I get from women going through IVF.

      • Paulab

        Hi again Jayjay, I hope those drugs are treating you more kindly, I found the acupuncture I was having helped A LOT. Just wanted to give you an update on my journey, we found out yesterday that we have been successful :) I have all the hope in my heart for you, I know you are going to be next and I cant wait to see you become a wonderful mother and have the baby you so deserve. Sending lots of positivee baby vibes and support your way. Look forward to following you on your journey x

  24. Anita

    you guys deserve this to work!! it pains me everytime it has failed for you!! i will literally cry tears of joy when this one works out!! infact no matter which way the outcome falls, i will cry anyway!! i am not religious but i pray that for success in your ivf this time as i really wanted you to be successful last time and the other times.
    good luck and best wishes!! you have done a fab job with that handsome little man Seven, and he is so very lucky to have you both take care of him!! Dom irritates me sometimes but so does my man and hes a great Dad!! hehehe…
    anyway, let all the love in the world bring you luck and positivity!!

    • Aw, thanks Anita. Dom irritates me too! Hahaha. But that’s mostly on the air. For some reason his monster comes out to play between 6 and 10am weekdays. :)
      He’s is an incredible father figure to Seven. Sev LOVES him and if he had to choose between us, I would definitely lose. (Luckily for me he won’t ever have to choose!)

  25. Lily

    Hi, Jay-Jay and Dom, I had similar experience like you. I had three failure IVF cycles. I am now not brave enough to have another cycle. Your story have given me some courage to think about another cycle. All the best for your 4th cycle and thank you very much for sharing your experience with us.

    • Hi Lily. It’s a rough road. Even Dom and I said the third round would be our last… but here we are doing #4! Who knows what life has in store for us… but you don’t get anything from not giving things a go. I really hope things work out for you too and that you are happy.

  26. Lynda Z

    Hi Jay Jay & Dom

    All I can say is I wish you both the best of luck and seriously I can’t think of two more more deserving people.

    xxxoooxxx

    • Thanks Lynda. Since we’ve had Seven we now know what kind of parents we would be – and apart from the fact that I still don’t know how to handle tantrums, everything else is good! haha.

  27. Blondie74

    All the very best to both of you! I hope everything works out for you both you both deserve it. I listen and love your show in the mornings. xxoo.

  28. JayJay Dom and Seven my fingers are crossed fourth time lucky, hang in there guys KIA KAHA XOXO

  29. Hanna

    Awww best of luck to you both!! I hope everything goes well. It’s not an easy thing to got through but stay positive. :) xx

  30. Tammie

    Jay-Jay & Dom,
    You guys are such a fantastic inspiration. Don’t give up the dream and the hope. I’ll follow this blog as religiously as I follow yours. Good luck to you both, anything that’s appropriate to cross has been crossed.

    Tams

  31. Val

    Dear JJ and Dom, I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for your 4th go, it took us 7 years to get pregnant back in the old days when IVF was not an option, we were very lucky and due to the wonderful work of Prof Einstein in UK who performed corrective surgery (wont go into it too complicated) eventually we made it. Now have 2 wonderful daughters and last year became grandparents. Being parents is great but such hard work but the payoff is being grandparents all the best bits and none of the bad, and I am so grateful every day that I got my girls and now this beautiful granddaughter. So stick in there I have everything crossed for you and if there is any karma in this world it will work for you. Positive thoughts and vibes, this IS going to work for you, its got to because you deserve it.
    Love your show but who will keep those boys under control when you are on maternity leave!!??? :-)

    • Thanks for sharing your awesome story too.
      If IVF works and I am lucky enough to be pregnant, and have a little ratbag of my own, I’m sure I won’t be too far from the airwaves. I love my job way too much! Whoever takes over will be pretty cool though I’m sure.

  32. Kelly

    Hi Jay-Jay,
    Thanks so much for sharing your story and making fertility issues more ‘public’- my husband and I had IVF with ICSI 2 years ago and we now have a wonderful 14 month old little boy. We are now preparing for the next round of IVF in the next month or so. Just want to wish you the best of luck and I will be sending you heaps and heaps of positive vibes!!

  33. Kia Kaha
    Be strong and I wish you all the luck you deserve, I truly believe you and Dom would make damn good parents.

  34. leanne mcMurchy

    Wishing you both the best of luck, keep trying, sometimes mother nature does need a helping hand. fingers crossed!!

  35. Sharn

    Hi JJ.

    I have been following your ivf over the years and each and every time I have held my breath for you both.. I know this must be a costly thing and often wondered why you don’t have a bank account for donations from people who support you..
    I have two gorgeous babies both under 2 and a 13 yr old and know how much joy they bring and I would happily donate 25$ to you and Dom to help pay for that next chance at IVF and I challenge the next person to do the same whether it be $5 or more..

    This is going to be the one for you both I just know it!

    Sharn

    • That’s very generous of you Sharne! We are ok though and don’t need donations. It is never about the money. There are more people who deserve a little help in that area. I only wish the government would fund more cycles for NZers.
      Thank you so much for your support and well wishes.

  36. Sarah

    I admire your strength. We just went through our 1st cycle unfortunately it didn’t take and Im trying to come to terms with it. We have been trying for 4 years and have been very unlucky (cancer from the products of conception is as bad as it sounds). Lately, my mantra has been ‘nothing of value is easy’. Your story reminds me that others are also doing it tough but sticking it out. Keep trying and all the very best

    • I know it’s hard not to get your hopes up Sarah, but don’t give up yet hun. Not many people conceive first pop. You’re right with your mantra. But imagine how boring life would be if everything was easy! Keep the end goal in sight. GOOD LUCK.

  37. Amy

    Hey JJ & Dom – just want to say good luck for your 4th round. We have been applying for the job of parents for almost 5 years and are currently going through our 3rd cycle – fingers crossed for every one in this secret society!!

  38. Tracey

    I think it is wonderful and very courageous of you both to share your very emotional IVF journey. My partner and I are currently 18 weeks pregnant with a frozen embryo transfer after three years of unsuccessful IVF treatments and I still have to pinch myself to believe it is real. Even though everyone’s journey and experience is different I understand the frustration and disappointment that trying to conceive brings. I found a great outlet in talking to people in similar situations at a local support group. I will have everything crossed for your 4th cycle.

    • Thank you for your kind words. And congratulations on your successful pregnancy! That’s incredible huh! It’s stories like yours that keep the rest of us going. So thanks for sharing. xx

  39. shelley

    hi jay jay and dom,
    just wanted to let you know that tomorrow i am having my trial transfer, they are putting some sort of seaweed (yes i know how weird that sounds) to see if it opens my cervic enough for a transfer, im sure dom would be interested about hearing a women having seaweed put “up there”!
    Maybe this post will help other women who have problems with a transfer, i havent met anyone else and would love to! i hope it doesnt hurt as much as the last one did! i nearly ripped my partners fingers out
    as i said in my last post good good luck and i think its very brave for you to be going into a forth cycle
    shellxxx

  40. JJ and Dom

    Ive been thinking when you were going to go in for another attempt. Just take things easy, try to relax and think positive as possible, easier said than done I know. No boozing for you babe!! Haha!

    I remember your 3rd attempt, I had emailed you about the time of it, it wasnt long after you had lost a young friend, and I was so sure it was going to be that time.

    A dream is a wish your heart makes, and you both deserve to experience the joys of parenthood – though at the moment your both doing a BRILLIANT job with Seven. Seeing him with Dom today, he is just a happy little man…..and Dom is doing a awesome job as an uncle/daddy. And so are you!

    So I going to send a little pray up to my little Angel Bubba up in Heavan to watch over you both through your next round.

    Love you!!

    B.

    xx

  41. Sarah

    Good luck for your next cycle, I really hope it is a success this time. I did my 4th cycle a few months ago (unsuccessful) and know the feelings of helplessness you can get. Whatever happens it sounds like you guys have got great support which is so important. Will be thinking of you!

    • Sorry to hear of your result. Man, it’s a crazy ride!!! Are you going to try again? I hope you have a happy outcome.

      • Sarah

        Yip bring on cycle 5!!! Having to wait a bit though because we are trying to find an egg donor. I think that having to wait is actually a good thing because it’s giving us some mental and emotional downtime. Having said that I’m not getting any younger and man I would love to be a mum:) Hopefully next year will be the year for us (and you guys of course)!

  42. daydreamer

    Jay Jay & Dom, I am keeping everything crossed for you both. I have been undergoing IVF treatment for 7 years and am about to go into my 5th round end of April. I think you are incredible to bring awareness to this journey as it can be a very lonely one, not because people don’t mean well and try to understand, but simply because unless you have been through it, you just can’t. I know I did not truly understand the emotional roller coaster that it was until I began my journey. I am a firm believer that what is for you will never pass you, and this constantly gives me hope that if motherhood is my destination then this will happen. I do add humour sometimes to the conversation, ” I’m waiting until my husband can have them,” or “Don’t worry my eggs are well preserved from years of drinking.” I have found over the years that it is best if I am very open when people ask me “Do you want children? You’re not getting any younger you know.” assuming that I don’t – I’m getting on having hit the big 40 this year and people keep reminding me as if I was not acutely aware of this already;) Anyway the more open we can all be about our experiences and the more we can accept that “It’s not anyone’s fault” and the more people are made aware that “parenthood” is a gift and not a god given right, this is the path to helping each other along the journey rather than having to go it alone, and a journey shared regardless of the destination is always a better one. Good luck with your journey and thanks for being a voice for many that can’t speak or are too afraid to. It’s so true that a problem shared is a problem halved especially where infertility is concerned. Sending smiles and lots of happy vibes your way.

    • Thanks for a great response. I can absolutely relate to all you are saying! It’s so funny isn’t it?
      Best of luck for round five. It feels like such a cliche thing to say, but I truly mean it. You’re a brave and strong woman! Most would not have come this far. Let’s hope you can put an end to all those naggers who say; “so when are you having kids?”. And hopefully you can say, “Oh, in about nine months!” Hehe. xxx

      • daydreamer

        Oh I’m going for the foward pack, been looking up Octamom’s surgeon’s details!! No but seriously, thanks. I hope that I do get the chance to experience motherhood, but if not, then I tell you what I am one hell of an auntie. Life has to go on even while you go through this journey. Thanks for the reply and really good luck.

  43. Catherine

    JJ and Dom

    My story began when I got married over 10 years ago when we decided it might be fun to have a go at having kids. Little did we know the trouble we would have to go through to be able to be come parents. We managed to get pregnant 10 months after trying only to miscarry at 12 weeks. Devistated was an under statement at the time. I thought my dreams were over. We kept trying and three months after the miscarriage I was pregnant again although this time I was rather hard on myself in thinking that it might not work. I was right as I miscarried again at just over four weeks. Since then my husband and I haven’t been able to get pregnant on our own and had been seeing a specialist for two years before she said we needed more specialist help. I didn’t know what to think and had not heard of IVF before or what it entailed. We went to see an IVF specialist and the list of things we would need to do was horrifing that I was almost put off at that point, (at this point it had been five years). My husband was adament that we needed to at least give it a shot and so we tried to prepare ourselves as best we could. had all the testing done, which showed we were both fine. We fell into the ‘unexplained’ category. I didn’t like being put in a box but that seemed to be the only way we could move forward. During this time we moved cities and so everything became very new. I had pretty much given up on becoming a mum at this point but my husband became the strong one and pushed the issue with me. I gave in and we started to get some help. First cycle worked well. We got five eggs, four fertilised, one didn’t. Put a fresh in three days later and the dreaded TWW was something that no one should have to endure. Got the result, positive. Now what?? We didn’t know what to think. We got to 18.5 weeks pregnant to find that our baby had died in utro and I had to deliver naturally if at all possible. Was difficult but we got through it with the love and support of our friends and family. We had a son, I was so proud. We still had three embryos left. Got the next one put in, was not successful so we got the next one put in, it was positive. We were so nervous about it that I couldn’t work. We lost our second son at 20.5 weeks in the same fashion as our first. I was just about ready to give up on everything at that point. No one should have to endure that sort of heartache in any lifetime. One embryo left, put back, miscarried at 7 weeks. I put my foot down this time and said that we needed to have a rest, regroup, enjoy life without the words IVF being mentioned in every sentence we spoke. We waited approx eight months and decided to give our second cycle a go. I had forgotten what it felt like to have to inject myself and the feelings that came with the amount of drugs that I was having to take. It really does take over your life if you let it. We got three eggs, two fertilised, one fresh put in and the other didn’t carry on. I am now 20.3 weeks pregnant and petrifide about the outcome of this baby.

    My husband and I are of the same thought as you both in informing people of our journey as a problem shared is a problem halved. Although our story isn’t finished yet we have been through many chapters that we do not want to have to rewrite. We have a large support group that we talk to all the time and encourage others as best we can. We also know when not to talk about our story or our success as sometimes just listening is the best you can do.

    I have written this lengthy story to you to say that you can’t give up. There is always something else in us that just isn’t ready to give up on such a dream as being parents. My husband and I do consider ourselves as parents already but our sons just couldn’t be alive to be with us, but they will always be in our hearts and minds everyday. Hopefully this new edition will give us the hope of having our dream, but one day at a time is all we can cope with.

    Stay strong, both of you as it will not be easy for Dom to see you have to go through the emotions of the drugs and the rollarcoaster. Take care of Dom as well because we tend to forget about our partners who actually play a huge part of our journey. We couldn’t do it without them really :)

    Thank you for being ambassadors for Fertility NZ. They are such a good advercate for those of us that will need treatment after us. I just hope that in time, a third paid cycle becomes available.

    Don’t be afraid to lose it at times, it can be a really good release. Take care and Kia Kaha.

    • You have brought me to tears with your story. My eyes are stinging!!! I don’t know what to say…. but man, you are an INCREDIBLE WOMAN!! There is no way I could cope with what you have been through. I am really, realy, really sorry you had to experience that. I understand how nervous you must be right now and there is nothing in the world I would wish for more right now than for you to give birth to that baby in 20 weeks time (alive, healthy and well!)
      I really appreciate your sharing your story here with me. Look after that foetus of yours. I want to hear what you name him/her!
      Good luck.

    • Joanne

      Any update on your story? Very brave of you to share..hope all is going well for you…

  44. Amy

    Hi Jay Jay and Dom
    I knew you guys had done IVF before but I didn’t realise this was your fourth attempt until I read your blog. I cannot imagine being on the radio and going through that – so I really admire you now. Me and my husband have an IVF baby now 15 months so I know what you are going through and I have been inspired by how open you are about your journey. Your blog has made me ask myself why we are so closed about the subject.
    We are about to embark on the journey again but it is not as daunting I have to say this time around.

    Just aside from that (but related) we wrote to you guys just after our baby was born – you were on holiday – and your ‘stand ins’ read our email out. We had 4 years of trying for a baby and IVF treatments and then some ‘lovely’ person stole our camera from the hospital car park which had all our baby shots in the theatre – talk about loose your confidence in humanity!! The guys read it out to see if anyone would come forward with it – but they didn’t sadly.

    Anyway, all the very very best for this cycle – you sound like you are in exactly the right head space – baby dust to you.x

    • Hi Amy, I’m so sorry to hear about your camera. How devastating and frustrating.
      I think it’s so exciting that you had an IVF baby. There is hope for me! I don’t really talk about this journey on the air much as it’s probably not that interesting to most people. That’s why I have this blog instead. People will only read it if they want to. I’ve been really impressed by the feedback I’ve received actually. It’s been amazing. So many people with stories.
      Good luck with your next attempt. x

  45. Angel

    hi jay jay and dom. i am really looking forward to hearing how your ivf cycle goes, and i wish you a thousand lucks! i am in a very dark place right now, feeling really down about not being able to have a baby, but we hope to be added to the ivf waiting list in may, but i am really nervous and scared about what it all involves! i admire your ability to be so positive and share your journey with us all, as i know it is not easy! thank you :)

    • Hi Angel. I really feel for you babe. It is a frightening and daunting experience… BUT, it doesn’t have to be that scary. Try not to think “I can’t have a baby” and think “I’ll be using an alternative method to start my family” instead. There is hope!! And it doesn’t matter how it gets here, just keep the end goal of a beautiful baby in sight. IVF is a crazy journey, but a lot of that is emotional. My advice to you is to take it one day at a time. Maybe you and your partner could attend a support group in your area? You mght make some nice friends who feel the same as you. Feel free to keep in touch with me if you need to chat. Or join a forum. It all helped me. Good luck.

  46. Michelle

    Hey Jay-Jay and Dom,
    I wish you all the success in your journey of becoming pregnant. I hope all your dreams come true and that one day your child will be reading all these lovely comments, and know how much he/she is already so loved.

    From Michelle.
    xoxo

  47. Shonz

    Hey JJ and Dom
    Just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world with this 4th treatment, I feel so lucky to have had 2 beautiful girls, I thought I had lost my second one which was the fright of my life. I was lucky so here is sending you all the luck that I have had.
    If been a surrogate mother would give you what you want, I would do it for such a derserving couple. You have truely brought life into perspective for me been so open about the trials and tribulations some couples endure.
    And hey what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, remember that JJ when the hormones take over.
    Stay strong, thinking of you guys! xx

    • Thanks Shonz. You almost brought tears to my eyes!!! (The drugs make me emotional though!) I don’t need a surrogate I don’t think – although I wouldn’t mind one because despite all this efffort I’m going through, I am TERRIFIED of being pregnant and actually giving birth! HAHAHA. Oh, the things we do!!

  48. Georgia

    All the luck in the world for this round of IVF. We’ve had one unsuccessful round of IVF. We have a daughter who is almost 2 and we found out that my partner has now developed some strange condition where his sperm dies on exit. So he has had to have the testes sliced open too and we have had the ICSI thing done. It’s a real rollercoaster ride, physically and emotionally. And noone really gets it unless they go through it. I admire your fortitude and courage. We’re going to have another shot at it starting in May. I’m getting older by the day so fingers, toes and testes crossed it works for us.

    • Haha. I had to laugh at your last line. At least you have a sense of humour, coz we really do need that in this business. Maybe Dom and your man can get together to share war stories about the time their nuts were hacked into! Oooh. Gruesome.
      Joking aside, I hope you have a successful outcome too.

  49. Catherine

    haven’t experienced anything you’ve been through but so excited to hear the day your pregnant!!!!! Positive things come to positive people!!!!!!
    Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  50. Helena

    Wow Jay-jay!! You are so brave and a real inspiration to NZ women!! I have my fingers crossed for you!!

  51. Kara

    Kia Ora Jay-Jay & Dom,

    I saw the advert on tv about your journey through IVF and will be following your progress (and there WILL be progress!) After 2 heartbreaking Ectopic pregnancies in 8 months, my fiancee and I will start this process ourselves in 3 months time. Whenever I start to feel really down from disappointment, I remember how many amazing stories there are out there about women getting pregnant against the odds. Wishing you both so much luck!

    Kara

  52. Emma

    Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! Good Luck for the next round in IVF, my husband and I are having difficulties and its good to hear someone who is as positive as you are!

    Thank you and wishing you all the best!

    Emma

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